It always amazes me how some people can behave with such utter responsibility, sense and sanity.
That seems odd to reflect upon – but most of our decisions these days are compromises, and it’s so refreshing to find someone who doesn’t compromise. Even if it means short term pain, or even potential long term loss. It’s about setting out to challenge the world to reach your standards, and setting them higher than any quick fix will allow.
Two friends, both remarkably suited, fiercely independent, stunningly attractive, immensely intelligent and painfully needing companionship of the highest order. Both choose to stay apart, even though to submit their own standards would give great joy. Maybe short term, or maybe long.
Going their own way.
Their decisions even reinforce my opinion that they are suited to each other. It’s about the mind, and what connections that creates. Not the body, and the flippant pilfering that charges the rationality.
Of one, the lack of the passion – previously spoilt by flaming torches lit of old. The sense that this has to be – it is the deal breaker – the complete package has to be led by this. Not for this one the slow burn, building. Even though the other party is truly lovely. The passion - the here and now. Odd, because of the amount of thought that takes place. Complexity, thy name is man.
‘Not my type’ I hear the cry. But what is? And if it has not worked before, should this not be a chance to try something that might work. And others have echoed this.
Of the other, the confusion of being told one thing and learning another. The newness of the relationship lacked context, but standards were held high.
Both are – as I see it – not wishing to be hurt. Trying to guard against the risk of pain. Trying to make the best decisions they can.
I see both sides, and respect both decisions. So rare that people are firm on their perspective. Such a shame that they must part for lack of understanding. So proud of the path they take. And if it winds towards at some point in the future, there is no harm.
"Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man
who angers, for each rage leaves him
less than he had been before - it
takes something from him."
who angers, for each rage leaves him
less than he had been before - it
takes something from him."
Louis L'amour, Novellist
I try to find solace in my own behaviour, learning from others. Here, I take the strength of both - living up to their own standards, and behaving with decorum. I try to be as decisive, when it is not in my nature to be so firm. Especially where - as usual, I can see all sides and all outcomes with equal merit.
One day, I will not sit on the fence, trying to guard against my own risk. For I can never see that I could ever hope to achieve all of this. (see below) Some - yes. All? No.
But for now, I will stay here, loving both, for both - though old and new - have firm hold of me.
