It’s been a week of quiet excitement and reflection. Of reawakening, and trepidation. My weekend is disappearing quickly. Some of the tasks on my list done, and a whole range of tasks not on the list also done. The list isn’t any shorter. Well, perhaps one or two.
I’ve been cooking. I’ve realised that I love doing it, but you need someone there to eat the results. You can’t eat it all – the quantities don’t work.
I’ve learnt that hot water pastry is a sod. But tastes wonderful. If it will only hold together for a few days, the right people will all get a taste.
I’ve learnt not to forget your roasting chickpeas.
I’ve learnt that ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ is a beautiful film. But it should come with a health warning. If you are in slight need of a good cry – get it out – it’s a doozer.
And so sensitive. So meaningful – to me, to you. I’d defy anyone to say they didn’t get one little thing out of watching it. That connected it to you.
And so many poignant moments. I’ll have to share some here. There are so many of them…
I guess it’s cheating – I should use my own words. But I find a connection with life, with love, with eternity, when I find connection in someone else’s words. And I have to explain.
Benjamin Button: ‘It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you.’
We never stop changing do we. Perhaps we just miss the signs and don’t realise it. I still feel the same as I did when I was 16. But I’m not. I’ve loved now. I’ve lived. I have people who are so important to me it hurts. That is different. I didn’t have that intensity at 16 – I thought life was endless and couldn’t see further than a few weeks. Or perhaps a few months. Now I want to preserve what I have but am terrified I will lose it. And hope that some of the wonderful things will carry on. For they make me real.
Mrs. Maple: Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?
Everyone is transitory in this life. And for most of us, people are transitory within it. There are very few people who are with you always – that’s just not the way it works. Brothers and sisters maybe? The odd friend. Lovers don’t come till much later, and to be blunt can never live up to expectations. Which is right and proper. The important people are with us for a while – maybe short, maybe long – and then pass on to the next thing. We must learn not to hate the process.
Benjamin Button: ‘You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.’
Simplicity itself. A quote from someone else – ‘one man cannot change the world.’
And even if he could, he has to leave the world behind some time.
Daisy: Sleep with me.
Benjamin Button: Absolutely
Benjamin Button: Absolutely
Even more simplicity. (Especially if it's Cate Blanchett. Hang on, shouldn't that be Brad Pitt...?)
Benjamin Button: Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
I don’t regret any of my choices. I’ve tried to take opportunities. I’ve even made a few. A wise young man called David once told me, don’t regret anything – it’s too late and wastes energy. I wonder where he is now.
Being defined by opportunities seems like being controlled by external influences. But it’s not just that – it’s a punctuation that allows you to breathe. It gives pause, or changes the pace, or sets you up for the big next step. It’s a way to remember milestones – for we all forget the steady change, and how that changes us (see first BB quote above).
Benjamin Button: I'm always lookin' out my own eyes.
No matter what – you are always you. It’s your choice, your life. Something for me to remember, when I see how I’ve changed physically. How I hate myself some days for the indulgent behaviour that has led to most of my ongoing sadnesses. I really should learn that it’s me in here, and if I want to change, it’s me that will do it. I can’t, won’t and shouldn’t ask anyone else to do it for me. Although I might need a kind word and my hand held every now and again.
Take control, but allow someone else to take the rudder every now and then. Even the head goose takes pause and drops back in the formation sometimes.
Benjamin Button: [Voice over; letter to his daughter] For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
Ditto
Queenie: You never know what's comin' for ya.
So live each day as though it were your last.
Benjamin Button: Some people, were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people, dance.
And some people do a bit of everything. That’s me. I sit in the middle of a web of creativity and skills, and share it with some very special people. Different ones of them feed my mind and soul in different ways. They are different people. But wonderful.
And me? I’m just happy tonight that I’m not living backwards. Much as it would be fantastic to think you were going to look like a young Cate or Brad in the future, it causes more problems than it solves. They wouldn’t be able to eat all of my cooking.
