And this is how, you remind me...

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"

it's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
Love this song.  An extract from 'How you remind me' by Nickleback.

The phrase also is particular to me, although not in the bitter reflections of the song.  I sometimes ponder on how other people influence me, and teach me about myself.

People that mean something,  people I love, consider friends, trust, and respect.  They make me see my faults and reflect upon past behaviour- often from a different angle.  They lead by example, by living the things I would like to live.  They make observations about themselves that prompt consideration of how I feel/act about such things.  Or make different choices than I would have made, but nevertheless interesting and enlightening

The best way to learn really - these people know that if they intentionally try to make me do something, I probably won't.  But if I see the benefit for myself, I may well give it a go.  And that's if they are aware of the impact anyway.  And in anycase, it makes me look at myself.  The difficulty is not to see what you want to see - but see what is really there.

And also sometimes people that don't mean anything still make observations, or behave in a way that make one learn about oneself.  It might just be that you consider what they have done, and vow not to make the same mistake, (in your eyes) or to achieve the same ends by different means.

Even people we really don't respect can be learnt from - although it is harder to take on board their actions, simply because we don't respect them.  We might not even listen.  But sometimes their approach is just so different from our own, it is hard to draw parallels.  We just come from different backgrounds.

People might accuse me of being a bleeding heart liberal, but I do believe that most people have something to offer.  They may be in the wrong job, or the wrong relationship, or the wrong culture, to influence properly and feel at home, but they will have some benefit even in adversity.  Taking a bikini with you on a 6 month work trip to the antarctic might seem incongruous, but it will remind you that there is a place where it can be worn.

Or people we don't even know.  Like a rock band of four guys in jeans - what could they possibly have in common with me? 

... apart from a yearning to understand myself.  Knowing that people influence me.

Lyrics really are the most powerful thing.  The all-seeing and gut-wrenching poems for the modern age.

We are all influenced in subtle ways.  Some new, some just a reminder of things we already know.  And it helps to be reminded.

Being Alive

A moment of clarity from Stephen Sondheim

Bobby is a confirmed batchelor, whose married friends continually try and find him a girlfriend.  Throughout the show he muses on who and why and what a partner should mean, and debates whether he wants one.  His final frustrated tirade, and subsequent acceptance/revelation is emotive, and in both words and music.

It speaks to me about what we all want - or get - from any relationship.

ROBERT:  What do you get? (with a relationship)

Someone to hold you too close,
Someone to hurt you too deep,
Someone to sit in your chair,
To ruin your sleep.


Someone to need you too much,
Someone to know you too well,
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell.

Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.

Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,
Someone to make you come through,
Who'll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive.

He realises what he really wants.
Somebody, hold me too close,
Somebody, hurt me too deep,
Somebody, sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive,
Being alive.

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.

Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!

If you get the chance, listen to the full vocal version. 

I love this song.  It reminds me that there is a very fine line between right and wrong in relationship terms.  Sometimes it just takes one word to change the meaning.

Life can be very subtle.