What is Beauty?Philosophy Professor A.C Grayling said that there is 'an almost universal need for it', which can be demonstrated by asking how many people would willingly choose to live in ugly surroundings rather than pleasing ones. So to need it, we must find it; and to find it we must define it. If you believe the media, personal beauty is a slim shape (or muscular for men), pretty, blemish-free and symmetrical features, nice clothes conforming to a style of your choosing..... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. A well worn topic which I need not repeat. And many do think this is all beauty is.
And many, including me, enjoy this perception of beauty. It's just lovely to look at. It's art. And we can't deny that we are absorbed by it, drawn to it and like to look at it on the big screen. I don't criticise truly beautiful people, just those who think it is all you should attain. And so my ramblings take shape.
And many, including me, enjoy this perception of beauty. It's just lovely to look at. It's art. And we can't deny that we are absorbed by it, drawn to it and like to look at it on the big screen. I don't criticise truly beautiful people, just those who think it is all you should attain. And so my ramblings take shape.
Many would say that beauty is subjective - in the eye of the beholder. This is as old as the hills, mountains and seas - a known opinion that pre-dates Pythagoras. This is a perceptive truth - for how else could one person prefer the straight lines of a magnolia box and another prefer the curves and rough stone of a medieval manor. But sticking to personal beauty (one man's boyish figure is another man's rounded curves) does the media represent anything other than falsity? And what is it that attracts us to someone who does not conform to the stereotype. That person is truly the beautiful one - the one who can see beyond the surface.
Surely no one is taken in by the fact that all we see portrayed are these fairly repetitive looks. Or are they. The vulnerable (and those that should know better) believe that this is 'the norm' - that if they are not such a look then they are not worth anything. This was brought to my attention at a discussion last evening, where senior teachers tried to explain why they could not ban make up at the school - not even for 11 and 12 year old girls. There are those, apparently, who by the age of 11 are so ingrained into wearing make up that they cannot leave the house without it, and would die from lack of confidence. These innocents are apparently being brought up by 15 and 16 year old siblings, and often live between two or more houses, without a proper bedroom of their own. The only way the teachers can help to address these social issues is to work with the girls to wean them off their reliance on this and other 'pacifiers'.
Honestly - this made me cross. Why pander to the tiny minority and teach the other girls that it is fine for them as well. I don't rant often, but this was frustrating. Two apparently sane and insiteful parents then described how each morning a battle ensues between them and their daughters, over how much make up was to be worn. It was apparently easier to give in than to battle every day. Are we, as parents, making a rod for the backs of the future generations by giving in? Is the decrease in discipline causing more than just orange faced girls who couldn't show their natural prettiness if they tried? ..... I digress.
There is some truth with physical beauty though - as Pythagoras identified that a mathematical perfection in a face or body gains an understandable attraction; and that surroundings of beauty often form predetermined patterns based on fertility and vital life signs - rich green trees, clear running water and so on. The human body of course, if truly functional, is beautifully capable of the best reproduction. Sadly, size 0 models are often infertile....Most of us would say that there is more to beauty than just looks. There is attitude - confidence is supposed to be a hugely attractive feature, and it can be - when balanced and kept in proportion. Knowing what you want is comforting - you have a way forward, or at least a goal to try for. And to see this in someone else can be devastatingly attractive, and comforting at the same time, particularly if they are close to you. The converse is that if they cannot see the future, they can become unnattractive, by the very nature of not giving confidence in how they progress. Having no vision allows you (or them) to drift... sometimes that is fine, but sometimes it's not. And seeing how to make it work; that too is attractive.
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. There is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” Henry David Thoreau
But it's not all about confidence, it's about awareness and gentility too. It's about intelligence and understanding and .... well, the list is endless. Physical attributes to a person, that dip into their character. Oh, and what is character? Is it something that you can put on and off like a coat? Not really - true character must be lived. Someone trying to falsify that character will eventually show the cracks, and be seen for the person they really are. It's about beliefs, deep set and heart warming. Things you desperately want to be. The beautiful person you aspire to be.
Stephen Covey says to improve the superficial things in your life (money, relationships, status) you have
'to start with the most inside part of 'self' - with your paradigms, your character, and your motives.'
Basically 'be' who you want to be. And there is nothing quite so beautiful as someone who is what they aspire to be; and even if they are not there yet, can see that goal and are working towards it.
Looking for the Covey quote, I found a list I made on a course in about 2002 - of things that I wanted to be remembered for - as though I were writing my own epitaph - in the way that I would have achieved the most important things to me. I chose:
Respect
- That I tried hard to please
- Honesty and being honorable
- Worked hard
- Dedicated
- Loyal
- Trustworthy
- Always there to support a friend
- Loved, and Loving
- Intelligent and Knowing
- Gentle
- Warm
- Skilled, and concentrated her skills on the things most important to her
- Versatile
- Enthusiastic
- Happy
- Satisfied with herself - but never stopped learning and developing.
What I didn't write down were the physical things I want or feel I need, or that the forced relationships with others to try to change them. That's a revelation. I've been cross with myself for so long about body shape, and missed the obvious facts beneath. Change yourself and your perception of what you want, is Mr Covey's focus - wise words.
There is of course an even deeper level of beauty - that of spirituality. In some, this is their faith, in others, it is wider and more open than one religion at a time: or not 'religious' at all - for what is religion but a set of rules based around how you wish to live your life?. The transcendentalists noted that
"man has something besides the body of flesh, a spiritual body, with senses to perceive what is true, and right and beautiful, and a natural love for these, as the body for its food." Charles Mayo Ellis,
and the Emmerson quote at the heading speaks of physical beauty as purely a lip gloss on the lip of the model - it's the lip and the content inside (the ability to use the lip productively?) that are the true worth. The transcendentalists looked to the writings of many religions and non-religious theories, bringing west and east together (whilst trying to avoid heavy European influences) into a core understanding of how man is put together. Seeing through the haze to the real person is an art and a science, and none of us get it right all the time.
“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?” Henry David Thoreau
“Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.” Thoreau again... I'm getting to like him.
